Mak, I Miss You :( Al-Fatihah...

It’s been 13 years without Mak…but I can still clearly remember the day I lost her.

The Scene.

14^th September 1996. It was my sweet 18^th birthday. Expecting for everyone to wish me happy birthday, the warden came in and woke me up at 6am.

“Marina…u siap, and balik kampung. College will bear your flight cost.”

“Huh? But why?”

“Your mom sakit…your mom ada sakit apa-apa tak?”

“Not that I know…why?”

“Nothing…just get your things packed and go home…”

“…ok…”

I was thinking nothing except…nothing. I packed my things and went to Kuantan Airport. I flew to Ipoh and from there, I called my sister on a public phone. Asking why and what. She just asked me to take a cab straight from Ipoh to Taiping, but ignored her advise, I took a bus. Why to waste my money, I thought back then.

Took my own sweet time on the bus, I was still feelingless. Approaching Simpang, I asked the bus driver to stop at the roadside. Walking towards my house, from far, I saw many people standing, chatting…and slowly turned their face on me.

I saw foods and drinks…and started to ponder, why these people wore kopiah and tudung. My bro, cousin brother, and his other two friends started to walk towards me, as they saw me looking confused and might acting out of someone’s expectation.

“….”

“Napa ni…?”

All 4 guys later encircled me and said “Sabaq na Ina…”

I looked at them, each and everyone. I didn’t see my sisters. I didn’t see Abah. And the worst that I could ever think, I didn’t see Mak!

“Mak mana? MAK MANAAAA?? MAK MANAAAAAAA???”

I started to cry badly and pushed away all 4 guys whom at that moment already gripped my both hands and body. I strangled so hard, tried to let loose like a mad cow that waiting to be slaughtered, and started to kick 4 of them. I remembered that all women specifically my aunt (mom’s sister) started to cry looking at the scene.

My cousin brother tried to calm me down by saying, “Jangan nangis. Kalau nak tengok mak, benti menangis. Tak baik.”

Pay no heed to his advice, I continued to strangle even harder. I kicked a TV cabinet and I broke down the glasses. They later took me to Makcik Ani’s house, our backdoor neighbour. There, they tried to calm me down, again.

I later lost energy to fight and just lie down and cry…I never cried so hard till I felt asleep. My sister then woke me up and spoke softly,

“Ina…bangun…tengok mak…”

I woke up in silent and took air sembahyang and wore proper baju kurung and tudung. I walked slowly towards my house’s backdoor passing through Makcik Ani’s backdoor. I saw white cloth covering unmoved body. Keeping my strength up high, I sat down and opened the cloth…and there I saw my mom, breathless…but her face was as bright as someone who’s faithful to Allah. The most amazing thing that ever happened on that time, she had a smile on her face…SubhanAllah…I was so touched and blessed. She'd go peacefully.

I recited yassin but yet, still crying gradually. May Allah be with her and put her amongst orang-orang yang beriman. Amin.

Behind The Scene.

I just got to know that my mom cried along the way from Kuantan to Taiping after she left me for college life (it was just only a week after the induction day). She told my sister that she had fulfilled her responsibility to send her last child to pursue a higher education (I’m the youngest and closest to her of 4 siblings).

My late mom had a fever for almost a week and what she wanted was only a teh tarik. She was earlier accompanying my sister at Ipoh, who practiced her teacher course, who previously stayed with me. They had a dinner at HB Road, Ipoh, before she was suspected to have dengue.

Worried of what my bro going to have for dinner, she insisted to go back to Taiping, and later admitted to Taiping Hospital at 10pm. Out of sudden, she was in comma and my family took turn to look after her. Getting late, my family went down to get some supper…which later, my mom took her last breath in front of her only sister at 5am.

My family took some time to let me know and they actually had kowtim with the college warden and my roommate, not to tell me anything bout the death of my mom, not till I reached Taiping. Worried of me going crazy and not reaching home, they kept it to themselves. And believed me, if they buried my mom before I came back, indubitably I will dig her grave there and then!!!

Last but not least, adding another big impact in my life, she left us exactly on my birthday, 14^th September, just a day before her birthday, 15^th September.

Unlike others, today, I wish…I still have Mak to celebrate the Mother’s Day. I wish I can shower her with all my love and money, endow her with everything, anything that she ever wanted in her life.

For those out there who still have Mak/Mama/Mom/Mummy/Mother/Ibu/Umi, PLEASE, AND DO APPRECIATE HER WHILE YOU CAN.

(Yes, I do have step mom, but it wont, and never, be the same as my one and only Mak…)